The Nine Lives of Catnose

Catnosed-Chick vs. the Need to Go

Wed, 03 Aug 2005 13:22:03 GMT

I've been super busy, so the blogging thing isn't happening, but I thought I'd share the latest comic to finish its Lemmecheck run -- now in the archives. Of course, this means that you also have to visit Lemmecheck to see the newest episode, but there's hot chicks there, so why complain. Anyway, enjoy!

If for any reason you can't see go to the website and click on the 2005 archives.

Six A.M. Sunday...

Sun, 10 Jul 2005 11:16:55 GMT

I hate waking up this early for assignments. My head hurts. I'm dehydrated and I feel hungover, yet I didn't even drink last night. Curse you drunken people and your bad mojo. I hate your loud and obnoxious guts.

Oh yeah... Lemmecheck posted a new episode of my comic as of July 1st. If you haven't seen it yet, check it out. I got to wear the greenest swimsuit ever. By the way, the tan is a total fake. It was airbrushed. Ah the magic of makeup!

Now off to modeling.

HappyOMFGWEESqueeEEEEEE

Sun, 10 Jul 2005 03:13:13 GMT

Finally, someone other than that annoying agnst-plague-ridden Polish leprauchaun is getting some action in Littlecrow's world. Apparently, she and her sister Tania are talking about bringing Sammy's comic strip out of limbo. Her sister is planning on putting out some eZines, and she seems to love the idea of putting in an updated of Sammy's comic strip. Now updating comics is a risky deal. The results can end up being either really cool or painfully lame. I am not sure what will happen yet, but it sounds like it is going to happen. Here's the low-down on what the characters have been up to now that they are all in their 30's or dead:

- Sammy really hates working at Microsquish so I know he'll go for a little amusement.
- Glenn is busy with marijuana reform volunteering, but I am sure he can find some free time.
- Joojet works at a comic shop, so being in a comic again will surely enhance her geek cred.'
- Junior is a house husband (lucky bastard) so I don't think he'd mind a part-time gig. Getting out of the house to socialize with old friends is always good. Did I mention that his husband is a total hotty. *DROOL*
- Rataxxis is dead, but he's a cartoon character, so I think reanimating him won't be all that hard or unholy. Besides, coming back to life will only add to his spooky cred.

Slo'Mo Pro'Mo

Sun, 10 Jul 2005 00:40:10 GMT

Did store promo crap today before I have to to bar promo crap tonight.

There's nothing like doing face cream demos in front of the fragrance aisle at Hell-Mart when you are semi-allergic to artificial scents. Nothing says attractive like runny snot and teary eyes. At least I get free crap, pay and my silly black smock, so it could've been worse. Plus, I got free caramel-filled chocolate samples, and a complimentary pre-moistened tissue from the other sample ladies. YAY! I love collecting freebies on my break. Free antihistamine would've made my day, but life can't be perfect.

Tonight, I get to hand out free trinkets to insanely drunken people while I am sober. GAH! It's money and good public relations, I suppose. Still, I shudder.

Fashion tip: Men, whether gay or straight, should not wear short-shorts, Hawaiian-print shirts, insane fake tans and shaven legs at the same time. It hurts my eyes and makes me semi-homicidal.

DIE!

Thu, 07 Jul 2005 12:44:21 GMT

I just finished a photo shoot.

Yes, I realize it's "holyshyte" in the morning.

Yes, I realize it's still 59 degrees out.

The photographer wanted to do an early shoot before it gets hot outside, while the light is still nice. At least that's what he claims.

I say follow the money, and you'll find the biggest stash balancing on top of an erect nipple.

---

While I am on the subject of things that are annoying, I received an especially stupid email this morning. I wrote to a photographer to compliment his work. I also inquired whether I would be suitable for any of the paid assignments he was offering. I knew my chances were slim since he seemed to have a "type" of model he prefers, but I decided to take a chance, just in case.

A polite rejection letter would've been acceptable and no big deal, but MY GAWD! Email message and commentary to follow:

Hi Catnose,

Thank you for your email. I don't think you have the look I'm after for
paid work,

That's okay. The modeling industry has a lot of stiff competition and I realize I can't fit everyone's taste. As I mentioned earlier in this entry, I expected to be rejected because of his aesthetic preference. However, the next few sentences made me want to kill somebody.

but I have been wrong before. If you'd like to get together
for a test session, we could see how it goes for fine art nude work. I
am trying to get better at posing and lighting. We could discuss
possible ongoing work from there.

So let me get this straight... this guy wants me to model nude for his own training purposes without compensation to me because, I don't have the right look for getting paid... Ummm... Yeah.... Whatever! Freebie-seeking idiot! Every once in a while I need a reminder as to why I let my agent handle 99% of my bookings. I am too temperamental and tired to deal with this kind of stuff this early in the morning.

Fortunately for me and my laziness in writing this guy the response he deserves, ladylamplighter suggested this clever response:

Dear Mr Pro(?) Photographer who hasn't yet figured out posing and lighting,

Thank you for your email. I don't think you have the competence I'm after for paid work. If you'd like to get together for a paid session with a professional model with years of experience, we could see if I then feel like doing you any free favors. I am trying to get better at tolerating the shmucks of this industry. We could discuss possible likelyhood of you becoming a professional work from there.

Let me know if that interests you. Thanks!

I totally need some coffee.

Johnny Come-Lately

Thu, 07 Jul 2005 03:24:43 GMT

Why the f--ck is that little green-haired bastard getting so much more airplay in the Vas's site than I am? He's a midget for Pete's sake. I don't want to hear about a midget's weird sex habits! I have a hard enough time not throwing up every time I hear Tom Cruise's name in conjuction with hot chicks that really should strive for better.

I have been working for that woman since 1994. Why isn't she bothering to syndicate my comic strip. I have more marketing potential than that aspiring Troma Film freakazoid. Granted he started working for her back in 1990, but she fired him the next year for being a diva and totally unreliable. That's what I heard anyway.

I'm reliable, I'm a hard worker and I'm nice. It just doesn't seem fair. What is wrong with people? The world so needs an enema.

Good Morning for Who?

Wed, 06 Jul 2005 16:17:32 GMT

Red Bull + Vodka + Vitamins + Krispy Kreme Doughnuts = Breakfast of Champions

How the hell do I keep my girlish figure?

Finally an Update...

Tue, 05 Jul 2005 23:05:25 GMT

WOW, my website got a makeover. How about that. I hate blogging. Maybe I should start since they put in such a huge space for me to write in. The pressure. I need a nap, or some beer. MMM.... Beer. It's too hot. I don't wanna model on Thursday, I want to eat cookies.

I'm married -- WOO HOO!

Tue, 04 May 2004 14:22:16 GMT

New cartoon up at Lemmecheck... The marriage episode. Whee! Yes, Lucan and I have finally tied the knot after 10 years of hanging out and doing stuff. The wedding was lovely. It wasn't too big, but our friends and family were there, so that counts for something. Anyway, the Man and I are enjoying our honeymoon somewhere in Eugene, Washington. Nothing like a relaxing weekend trip among caffeinated hippies talking to political stuff. HEH! We're planning to road trip for a while in our little car, until it's time for me to go back to work -- two weeks from now. It's so nice to have some time off.

On a totally unrelated note, here is a great article about overpriced Ramen. :)
http://frugalliving.about.com/cs/consumeraddiction/a/blpennyq.htm

I actually posted something... WHEE!

Wed, 07 Apr 2004 05:01:33 GMT

Aren't I just thrilled. My old online journal is here:
http://catnose.diaryland.com/

Let's see if I will bother to keep this one. GAWD! I am so frigging lazy.